Why to Stay Calm and Not Explode on Your Child: How Stillness Builds Better Connection Than Correction

January often comes with pressure to do better, be better, and fix what didn’t work last year.

But what if this season isn’t about correction at all?

What if it’s about stillness—and noticing what’s already growing?

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When Stillness Reveals What Correction Can’t

Some weeks ago, I was sharing with a group of peers something very real.

It was around 9:30 p.m., and my child had just started doing his chores.

Everything in me wanted to snap.

It was late.

I was exhausted.

I was sick.

And yes—despite being a life and parenting coach—I had a strong urge to throw all my tools out the window.

But I didn’t say anything.

Not because I was being intentional or enlightened… but because I was simply too tired to complain.

So I sat.

And I was still.

And that’s when something unexpected happened.

I noticed my son wasn’t dragging his feet or rushing to be done. He was enjoying himself.

Not only was he completing his chore—he was doing it with joy.

Not only with joy—but he was going the extra mile with every action, completely absorbed in what he was doing.

And in that quiet moment, my heart filled.

Later, when I shared this story with the group, someone gently reminded me of something important:the joy didn’t come only from my son.

The joy also came from me.

I wasn’t just “doing nothing.”

I was choosing stillness.

And in that stillness, I was absorbing instead of reacting.

Witnessing instead of correcting.Magnifying what was going right instead of searching for what needed to be fixed.

As parents, it is so easy to become frustrated when our kids don’t do what we ask—or when they do it, but not the way we imagined it should be done.

We feel the pull to correct.

To redirect.

To stop a behavior at all cost.

To control the outcome.

And sometimes that guidance is necessary.

But how much beauty do we miss when our own intensity gets in the way?

How many moments of growth, joy, and connection pass us by because we’re focused on fixing instead of seeing?

That night reminded me of something simple and powerful:

Stillness is not passive.

It is active presence.

When we slow ourselves down—even unintentionally—we create space.

Space for our children to show us who they are becoming.

Space for joy to emerge without being managed.

Space for connection that doesn’t require words or correction.

We don’t need to get it right all the time.

We don’t need to be calm, regulated, and intentional 24/7.

Sometimes the most meaningful moments come when we’re tired, human, and willing to pause.

And sometimes… the greatest gift we give our children is simply letting them be seen.

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An Invitation for Your Family

If this story resonates—if you’re realizing how often intensity and urgency take over before you even have time to pause—you’re not alone.

This is exactly why I’m inviting families to join my 6-week Nurtured Heart Approach® Training, beginning February 2nd.

The Nurtured Heart Approach isn’t about letting things slide or ignoring behavior. It’s about learning how to:

• Respond instead of react

• Build connection before correction

• See and strengthen what’s going right—even in hard moments

• Create calm, structure, and confidence without power struggles

In the course of six weeks, you’ll gain practical tools, real-life application, and the kind of internal shift that helps moments like this happen more often—not by accident, but by intention.

If you’re ready to move from constant correction to confident, connected parenting, you can learn more and register here:

👉 https://www.tayloringyourlife.org/nurtured-heart-approach-workshop

Your presence matters more than your perfection. And when families learn to slow down and see differently, everything begins to change.

One step at a time.